Wow this was fantastic! I have a similar tendency to berate myself for not easily "knowing" certain things, and your words are a refreshing nudge in a different direction. I love the idea of gravitating towards connection...
(1) That interacting often comes first and then caring follows. If asked I think I would have given the opposite, wrong account, that caring comes first. But reflecting on this, I can think of a lot of people and 'situations' I didn't care about at all until I started interacting with them. It's only in interaction that I learn who this person is, what they're like, what they're about. There's a local dance event I attend sometimes since last year --- before I heard of it the name meant nothing to me. I'm thinking now of volunteering to work the door. The interaction came first and then the caring followed. It feels crazy in retrospect to expect by default for things to go the other direction --- I can think of some examples off the top of my head where I cared first such that I interacted, but far fewer.
(2) One can enjoy wanting something, can accept the wanting, without trying to get it the thing wanted. It's neither an invalid compass nor the only valid compass for action. Wanting is a sense field that can be enjoyed like the others --- like hearing. Very relevant for me --- I found myself just the other day wanting what I have already established I cannot have. I experienced that wanting as awkward and painful, something to try and ignore by looking anywhere but there. I rejected the wanting. This point raises the possibility I could just enjoy the wanting without needing to do anything about it --- either to act on it or try to expunge it. Sounds like a more fun and useful way to live with wanting.
Wow. That was a beautiful journey. Thank you!
Wow this was fantastic! I have a similar tendency to berate myself for not easily "knowing" certain things, and your words are a refreshing nudge in a different direction. I love the idea of gravitating towards connection...
Thank you for the insight 🙏
What Ari said about your last post is true of this one as well!
Two excellent points here.
(1) That interacting often comes first and then caring follows. If asked I think I would have given the opposite, wrong account, that caring comes first. But reflecting on this, I can think of a lot of people and 'situations' I didn't care about at all until I started interacting with them. It's only in interaction that I learn who this person is, what they're like, what they're about. There's a local dance event I attend sometimes since last year --- before I heard of it the name meant nothing to me. I'm thinking now of volunteering to work the door. The interaction came first and then the caring followed. It feels crazy in retrospect to expect by default for things to go the other direction --- I can think of some examples off the top of my head where I cared first such that I interacted, but far fewer.
(2) One can enjoy wanting something, can accept the wanting, without trying to get it the thing wanted. It's neither an invalid compass nor the only valid compass for action. Wanting is a sense field that can be enjoyed like the others --- like hearing. Very relevant for me --- I found myself just the other day wanting what I have already established I cannot have. I experienced that wanting as awkward and painful, something to try and ignore by looking anywhere but there. I rejected the wanting. This point raises the possibility I could just enjoy the wanting without needing to do anything about it --- either to act on it or try to expunge it. Sounds like a more fun and useful way to live with wanting.