You nailed it! You’ve nailed it in the most imaginative, delightful, intriguing and heartfelt way I have ever heard anyone previously explain the Option Method. Thank you so much. May I share it with others? Deborah (Bruce Di Marsico’s widow, creator of the Option Method)
My god, a more gratifying response I could not have hoped for! Thank you so much for these kind words, Deborah -- it means a great deal to me. And yes, you're very welcome to share it.
HI Andrew. What a delight to have had one of your subscribers send me the link to your article! Since 2019, I've been coaching people with the Option Method. Before that, I used all kinds of modalities with people, but since I experienced the profound effect of the Option attitude (and inquiry) on myself in 2018, I've never used anything else with my clients again (except for meditation).
So, like meeting an old friend, I'm always very happy to find fellow Option initiates who get its true depth. And my joy is doubled or quatrippled by the fact that you're also a Vajrayana practictioner. I've been practicting Vajrayana & Dzogchen for 5 years. Oh and I didn't know that Arye Nielsen is also a Vajrayana practitioner. The Option Method & Vajrayana go so well together. I actually think that the Option Method in a sense includes and completes the whole Hinayana path, and can quickly ripen people's minds into the direction Mahayana/Vajrayana/Dzogchen.
Alright, enough of the excitement :) If you feel like connecting more, please drop me a message any time: ugi [at] leerpunkt.ch
The method is interesting and useful on its own merits, but I’m fascinated in particular by how close this is to a process called “Core Transformation.” The technique is extremely similar — Core Transformation follows the same pattern of recursive inquiry, in this case down to what they call a “Core State.” They both allow you to feel the positive emotion you've been wanting.
* The book, by Connirae and Tamara Andreas, is worth reading (the practice itself takes around 50 pages to describe in full): https://amzn.to/3IYVAp4
I wonder whether you agree that the ability to locate sensations and emotional shifts in the body can be taught by Gendlin-style Focusing, as Romeo suggests? That was my way into this stuff, and I found it to be a good foundation, in part because it’s so clearly about building a skill — there’s no belief system needed other than thinking that paying attention to your body might be helpful.
One note: You have a small typo where you’ve written “must” but mean (I think) “much” — the sentence is: “Things can get intense must faster than expected.”
Can I assume that _existential_ unhappiness means the answer to Question 2 isn't "my wife died" or "I'm experiencing opiate withdrawal" or "I have cancer" but instead something like "Random House rejected my novel"?
Hi Paul, I'm not sure I fully understand your question, so please forgive me if I miss the mark completely.
The short answer is "no." In the method outlined here, one would not assume that.
Worth noting that existential unhappiness (in this way of talking) isn't identifiable with any particular experiences like grief or pain, just as happiness isn't identifiable with the particular experiences of joy or pleasure. It's an attitude toward the totality of what's happening. One could be perfectly happy to feel grief at the loss of a loved one (without being glad that the loved one is dead), happy to experience withdrawal symptoms (without being glad to have an addiction), happy while experiencing having cancer (without liking having cancer). There doesn't have to be any justification for happiness, basically.
Maybe what you're pointing to is, that can seem callous. That's true. If I were rewriting the post, I'd add a bit about how it's really not a good idea to apply this view to *other* people or use it as a way to blame them for their own suffering. It tends not to help anyone.
Not sure if that answers your question, so feel free to say more.
What I meant was that some answers to the question “what am I unhappy about?” are things one can contemplate, weigh, examine the credentials of, etc, whereas others are (or can be) indicative of truly acute and crushing pain that’s prior to/deeper than waking consciousness. The former would seem to “work” as matter for the process you outline; I can’t imagine the latter working.
Interesting! I'm not sure I share this intuition, could you say more about what makes them different? Why is the cancer pain prior to waking consciousness in a way that my novel getting rejected isn't? Or, why can I contemplate one and not the other? It seems to me like I can contemplate both, insofar as they appear in my experience.
I think there's reason to believe that the "rejection" that a method like this questions/works with can be brought into conscious experience even if it's not there already. The rejection is often very fast (like less than a second from the stimulus), but not so fast that it can't be noticed. And I think bringing awareness to the process (e.g. with questions like these) can drastically increase the odds of "catching it." (Certain forms of meditation also help.)
That's not to say all triggers would be equal in terms of the ease of disengagement.
Ari sent me here, and I'm floored. Thanks for writing this.
Andrew,
You nailed it! You’ve nailed it in the most imaginative, delightful, intriguing and heartfelt way I have ever heard anyone previously explain the Option Method. Thank you so much. May I share it with others? Deborah (Bruce Di Marsico’s widow, creator of the Option Method)
My god, a more gratifying response I could not have hoped for! Thank you so much for these kind words, Deborah -- it means a great deal to me. And yes, you're very welcome to share it.
HI Andrew. What a delight to have had one of your subscribers send me the link to your article! Since 2019, I've been coaching people with the Option Method. Before that, I used all kinds of modalities with people, but since I experienced the profound effect of the Option attitude (and inquiry) on myself in 2018, I've never used anything else with my clients again (except for meditation).
So, like meeting an old friend, I'm always very happy to find fellow Option initiates who get its true depth. And my joy is doubled or quatrippled by the fact that you're also a Vajrayana practictioner. I've been practicting Vajrayana & Dzogchen for 5 years. Oh and I didn't know that Arye Nielsen is also a Vajrayana practitioner. The Option Method & Vajrayana go so well together. I actually think that the Option Method in a sense includes and completes the whole Hinayana path, and can quickly ripen people's minds into the direction Mahayana/Vajrayana/Dzogchen.
Alright, enough of the excitement :) If you feel like connecting more, please drop me a message any time: ugi [at] leerpunkt.ch
Have a great day!
May all beings be free.
Ugi (from Switzerland)
The method is interesting and useful on its own merits, but I’m fascinated in particular by how close this is to a process called “Core Transformation.” The technique is extremely similar — Core Transformation follows the same pattern of recursive inquiry, in this case down to what they call a “Core State.” They both allow you to feel the positive emotion you've been wanting.
If you’re interested in reading more:
* Romeo Stevens has a good summary blogpost of the Core Transformation view (and a link to his own explanation of the process itself): http://neuroticgradientdescent.blogspot.com/2019/07/core-transformation.html
* The book, by Connirae and Tamara Andreas, is worth reading (the practice itself takes around 50 pages to describe in full): https://amzn.to/3IYVAp4
I wonder whether you agree that the ability to locate sensations and emotional shifts in the body can be taught by Gendlin-style Focusing, as Romeo suggests? That was my way into this stuff, and I found it to be a good foundation, in part because it’s so clearly about building a skill — there’s no belief system needed other than thinking that paying attention to your body might be helpful.
One note: You have a small typo where you’ve written “must” but mean (I think) “much” — the sentence is: “Things can get intense must faster than expected.”
Can I assume that _existential_ unhappiness means the answer to Question 2 isn't "my wife died" or "I'm experiencing opiate withdrawal" or "I have cancer" but instead something like "Random House rejected my novel"?
Hi Paul, I'm not sure I fully understand your question, so please forgive me if I miss the mark completely.
The short answer is "no." In the method outlined here, one would not assume that.
Worth noting that existential unhappiness (in this way of talking) isn't identifiable with any particular experiences like grief or pain, just as happiness isn't identifiable with the particular experiences of joy or pleasure. It's an attitude toward the totality of what's happening. One could be perfectly happy to feel grief at the loss of a loved one (without being glad that the loved one is dead), happy to experience withdrawal symptoms (without being glad to have an addiction), happy while experiencing having cancer (without liking having cancer). There doesn't have to be any justification for happiness, basically.
Maybe what you're pointing to is, that can seem callous. That's true. If I were rewriting the post, I'd add a bit about how it's really not a good idea to apply this view to *other* people or use it as a way to blame them for their own suffering. It tends not to help anyone.
Not sure if that answers your question, so feel free to say more.
What I meant was that some answers to the question “what am I unhappy about?” are things one can contemplate, weigh, examine the credentials of, etc, whereas others are (or can be) indicative of truly acute and crushing pain that’s prior to/deeper than waking consciousness. The former would seem to “work” as matter for the process you outline; I can’t imagine the latter working.
Interesting! I'm not sure I share this intuition, could you say more about what makes them different? Why is the cancer pain prior to waking consciousness in a way that my novel getting rejected isn't? Or, why can I contemplate one and not the other? It seems to me like I can contemplate both, insofar as they appear in my experience.
I think there's reason to believe that the "rejection" that a method like this questions/works with can be brought into conscious experience even if it's not there already. The rejection is often very fast (like less than a second from the stimulus), but not so fast that it can't be noticed. And I think bringing awareness to the process (e.g. with questions like these) can drastically increase the odds of "catching it." (Certain forms of meditation also help.)
That's not to say all triggers would be equal in terms of the ease of disengagement.
Anyway, apropos of this, here's a clip of Buddhist teacher Rob Burbea expressing his sense of the utter perfection of, in fact, dying from cancer... https://twitter.com/JakeOrthwein/status/1607142109689139201